Families Supporting Adoption: Foster Care Myth #1

In a series of Wednesday posts, we will debunk some common myths about foster care. We welcome your comments and hope you will share your experiences with us at fsablog@gmail.com.

Myth: Foster children come into foster care because they have done something wrong, such as committing a crime, or because they are bad kids.

FACT:??Foster children come into care through no fault of their own.??They are placed in protective custody of the state due to varying levels of abuse and neglect. (Mary M., UT Layton FSA) Anecdotal evidence countering this myth was found in a recent issue of NCFA's Adoption Advocate?where former foster youth offered personal experiences:

Jetaine Hart:?There was a lot of abuse and lack of resources in my biological family. We were very poor, and often we didn?t have lunch to take to school or food in the house. Had someone noticed earlier, maybe my mom could have gotten help and my brother and I wouldn?t have had to be removed. We were placed in foster care when I was nine, after my mother had a mental breakdown and tried to commit suicide. I remember how awkward it was to have a total stranger come to tell us that we were leaving our home and our school, and that our mother was in the hospital.?

Marisela Ortiz:?There is this awful view of children in foster care ? the belief that they are bad kids who created their own problems. I often felt as though people never understood who I really was or what foster care was like for me.?I entered care just before I turned 14, when my mother was deported. ?

Often people are scared away from foster care adoption by horror stories in the media, or by hearsay, or by their own assumptions. So many people think we are ?broken? and are afraid their household will be in danger if they take us in. So when I talk to prospective adoptive parents, I try to dispel their fears while also being realistic about the challenges. There are challenges with any child, but that doesn?t mean it?s not worth it to be someone?s parent.

Jelani Freeman:?I entered care in New York at the age of eight because my mother was not mentally fit to keep me. ?

Mason McFalls:?I entered the foster care system in Georgia at the age of seven. Members of my church saw what was going on at home ? abuse, neglect, and malnourishment ? and reported it, and so my brother and I were removed from home and placed in care together.?

Jeremy Long:?Our society doesn?t understand what foster care really is. Unfortunately, with the stigmas and stereotypes that our foster youth currently face, the general public is ignorant as to what foster care is and why so many youth are caught in the system. When talking to the general public, many of our foster youth are identified as ?problem youth? because they are in care, when in reality they are there through no fault of their own. Our youth who have already faced trauma, abuse, neglect, and abandonment shouldn?t also carry the blame for being in the system.

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